North of the Border

Recently, while reading one of the puck bunny websites I follow (mostly just for a laugh, since the information on there is almost always bogus) I took offence to a bunch of nasty posts by an American girl who seems to have a real hate-on for Canada and Canadians.

Pardon me, but why go onto a website which discusses hockey and hockey players and trash Canada? Most of the players are Canadian, and surely some of the site's readers are Canadian. Most of the girls on there seem old, catty and out-of-touch with hockey players and how the operate. They get up in arms every time news breaks of a player cheating on his wife or girlfriend, accuse Canadians of being hicks (when, likely, I'm from a bigger city they are) and bash how we talk, dress and what we eat.

While I will be the first to admit much of Canada is a barren wasteland of nothing but trees, and some cities are better left unvisited (Regina, Winnipeg, I'm talking to you), there is plentiful beauty and culture to be found in the big three cities, including Montreal, where one poster argued the 'Quebecois' don't know how to dress.

While some uneducated Americans may think of log cabins, moose and buffalo check when they think of Canada, I must say ... these uneducated girls are sadly mistaken.

When it comes to hockey, I'd say, Canada has the upper hand. We eat, sleep, and breathe hockey. We win more championships, produce more hockey players, and the richest and most powerful team in the National Hockey League is the Toronto Maple Leafs. The Leafs' revenues are what pay for teams like Nashville, Phoenix, Columbus etc. to stay in the league.


So here these girls are trashing Canada and Canadians, and all trying to get a piece of our rugged, rough and tumble hockey player pie.

I'm looking on Google for how to meet a Canadian man, and the tips are outright hilarious, though some of them are a little too true for words.


"Rule number one: don't ever call it ice hockey; to Canadians there is no other kind. Rule number two: don't ever complain that Canada's favourite sport is too violent. If asked, say that the fights are undoubtedly your favourite part. Rule number three: if you don't know anything about hockey, pretend you do. Drop a few names, feign interest, try to keep your eye on the puck and never, ever say anything against the national passion. Dissing hockey is tantamount to treason and will have you searching for a new beau quicker than a beaver can gnaw through a maple tree!" From Lucy Corne

I also want to point out how cute (aka pathetic) it is, if you go to an American hockey team website, they include a little section called Hockey 101, like this. If I find a Canadian team who does this, I'll shit canaries.

Maybe these broads should learn what a Kenora Dinner Jacket or a two-four or double-double is before they start trashing our country and trying to pillage our men. (How's your Canadian slang? Test yourself.

If it was so great down south, how come all the hockey players come home to Canada every summer?